Crazy Hobbies

How to agree on choosing a house together?

My husband and I of 6 years cannot seem to agree on what kind of house to look for. I want to live on a hobby farm without neighbors/farther from town and he is wanting to live closer to town with a smaller "hobby farm". When we look at real estate listings we have very different opinions on what we each think is a good place. He doesn't like my decorating style either, which to me seems so trivial. How can we get past this roadblock and agree on a house together?

Public Comments

1. You both are going to have to compromise....This was never a problem with my husband and myself....He is happy with me no matter where we live.
2. Keep looking (for a house I mean).
3. When it comes to decision making and you are each on a different side, you need a "FINAL WORD" person....and in my opinion that person should be him. Sorry, I'm old fashioned. The only disagreement this does NOT apply to is having children. If one person says no kids, then NO kids.
4. Well, the decorating thing is easy. Each of you take certain rooms and decorate them in your own style. I had that same dilema. I let her do the kitchen, the dining room and living room. I did the den, my sons room and we kind of ended up having fun decorating the guest rooms and the bathrooms together. As for the hobby farm thing, I am with you. I like being further out in the country. But you two need to find a compromise.
5. I think a good start would be to each make a list of broad characteristics you would like your house to have. Things like... a big airy kitchen, a breakfast nook, two bathrooms, a finished basement. Then once you have your list, your should rank them. What can you absolutely not give up? What would just be kind of cool, but isn't totally neccessary? Then, take the two lists. See what you each list in the top five. If you have things that are at complete odds with one another, take them out. Then, with the remaining choices, find as many houses as you can that have the most items from your now joint top 10. Since you've removed conflicting items (like suburban vs. country) you will end up looking at the closest matches in each area. Hopefully, by doing this, by getting out there and actually getting in the houses, you'll come to not only understand what different things you're looking for, but what SIMILAR things you want. Focus on those. And once you're in the actual houses, you might find your opinions shifting anyways. You might wide up standing in a house in town and totally fall in love. Open yourself up to that possibility while holding firm to a few other things, and ask him to do the same.
6. Ha Ha I know what you mean? 31 years married.
7. Tell him he can decorate and you live in the sticks(not my choice) or you can decorate and live closer to town and if he picks the latter of the two don't be a wench and paint the whole house hot pink(as tempting as that may be) If you like the hobby farm thing you can always trade up later-it would be a shame to buy big and hate living in the sticks.