Crazy Hobbies
Writing help, give me tips on my essay please!?
This is my "fake" narrative essay!! :) I never used to like books, until the day I got lost in my local public library. The library used to always freak me out, the tall towers of books, the quietness, and the smells of old books and old people mixed. Who would want to spend there time staring at the pages of a book? That’s what I always thought to myself. I laugh at myself for saying this now, because I am the ultimate bookworm now! “Time to pick out your new book for the week!” Ms. Colleen shouted. I hated books and thought they were a waste of time. “I’m not even done with last week’s book!”, I whispered to Susie. “Your in luck, the library is too packed for anyone else to go!” she whispered back. “Since when has the library been packed”, I shouted by accident. “Well Miss Katie, the time of year is here! The Bookathon is near!”, Ms. Colleen said. Ms. Colleen was my reading teacher, and of course her hobby was reading. All of a sudden a pattern of sighs and groans started to fill
Public Comments
- First tip: Read your essay out loud and you will hear every awkward sentence and every bit of misplaced punctuation.
- Reading it out loud will help. Also substitute "quietness" with "silence". And instead of "spend there time" make it "spend their time". And change it to "Now, I laugh at myself for saying this because I am the ultimate bookworm." Second paragraph: "Your in luck" should be "You're in luck." It's a good essay. I love narrative essays. I'm 14 and working on an essay right now so if you could help with mine that would be great! http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnzvI0CF9tYgm5CmRlSdTZHsy6IX?qid=20070410164855AAolst2
