Crazy Hobbies

writing help?? :)?

This is the begining of my essay!! :) I never used to like books, until the day I got lost in my local public library. The library used to always freak me out, the tall towers of books, the quietness, and the smells of old books and old people mixed. Who would want to spend there time staring at the pages of a book? That’s what I always thought to myself. I laugh at myself for saying this now, because I am the ultimate bookworm now! “Time to pick out your new book for the week!” Ms. Colleen shouted. I hated books and thought they were a waste of time. “I’m not even done with last week’s book!”, I whispered to Susie. “Your in luck, the library is too packed for anyone else to go!” she whispered back. “Since when has the library been packed”, I shouted by accident. “Well Miss Katie, the time of year is here! The Bookathon is near!”, Ms. Colleen said. Ms. Colleen was my reading teacher, and of course her hobby was reading. All of a sudden a pattern of sighs and groans started to fill

Public Comments

1. It's good
2. It sounds GREAT and sounds like a story about me!!!! =) Youre essay brought back to me those long forgotten days. Thanks for sharing... I, too, hated reading and writing... and now I love to both read and write!!! Now I wish how come I didn't do it and like it earlier...? oh, btw,.... there should probably be a "?" or "?!?!" after .... Since when has the library been packed??? What do you think?
3. it's good but i have a suggestion.... the beginning sounds like rambling...if it was a personal essay it would be good because you sound like yourself but i think the beginning paragraph can be removed. it's easy to tell you don't like the library without the 1st paragraph. later in your story you delve into the fact that you now like the library.
4. There is no connection between the first and second paragraph. The first pargraph talks about how you first experienced the public library and how you felt. The second paragraph talks about Ms. Colleen announcing to the class that it's time to go to the library and that "Bookathon" was here.The biggest mistake I see in this second paragraph is that you started off with a quote. NO! NO! NO! Always incorparate your quotes. For example, you should write: "It was a quiet Tuesday afternoon when my reading teacher, Ms. Colleen announced that it "was time to pick out a new book for the week." The class groaned, especially myself. I did not even finish the book I had gotten from the previous week. I told my dillema to my friend Susie. She just grinned. When my class got to the library, I was stunned to see so many students there. It was packed! Susie smiled at me and whispered, "your in luck! The library is too full. "Why is the library full," I said. The library is never full!" I must have accidently blurted that question out load for then, Ms. Colleen said, "Don't you remember (your name)? Bookathon is next week!"